Life Lately: 2017, Halfway Through

Hey hi hello, Caroline here reporting for my once-a-month-posting-duty. Also - apologies for that massive picture of my face up there, what a welcome back! Though I'm rarely actually here anymore, I've been keeping a running tab of life updates since the beginning of the year, full of happy things and momentous occasions to regale you with when we sit down for a proper chat... but as these things go, days disappeared into weeks into a full month into now, nearly 6 months since I've done just that with you.
I'm sorry, and I miss you. 
But! That aforementioned list! Sharing the bare bones version with you here because the longer I go without doing that, the more disconcerted I feel. What can I say, after five and a half years of sharing every detail of my life here, it feels weird to have an entire half-year undocumented.
So to stick a proverbial toe into the water, here's the Cliff Notes version for now, with perhaps novel versions to follow, should I get bitten by the ramble bug once more. (I say as if I'm not already rambling here.)
OK. HERE WE GO.

// I'm going to be an aunt for the first time!!! Well, aunt to a human, that is. My sister and brother-in-law surprised us with the most special Christmas morning via a fluffy little onesie. Baby BOY (I flew up to Seattle in April to third-wheel the gender reveal doctor's appointment as their birthday gift to me HA) will be here in a little less than three months, and we are all wild with anticipation. So ready to snuggle the little munchkin!

// Maui vibes in May: I spent the first week of May fifth-wheeling (sensing a pattern here...) our family vacay... it was my sister and BIL's babymoon and my parents' joint birthday celebration, but I was there to just lay comatose on the perfect beaches and squeeze into the middle-backseat on scenic drives and demand shaved ice whenever possible. Already scheming up how to retire early and peace out permanently to Maui because it is HEAVEN. 

// WFLondon in March: so this one, I covered a bit here. Basically, with one week's notice, I booked a flight and the cutest "aparthotel" studio and spent half of March in London for work. This is notable because 1) well, London, and 2) I don't think I've ever felt as much like a true, established grown-up as I did in those two weeks. I'm convinced that's 87% due to that hotel room straight out of Pinterest, 13% because of my insane work hours there, and 1% thanks to my nightly glass of wine whilst soaking in the bathtub.

// The Apartment Saga: that took over my entire life and brain and soul through the first four months of the year. Post-college, I stumbled upon the greatest SF apartment opportunity of all time and then never left. In January, a couple of my roommates (including the master tenant) wanted to move, which launched the rest of us into hyper-panic-apartment-hunting mode which... if you know anything about the SF rental market, you'll know is totally justified. Let me tell you – most dramatic text messages of my LIFE took place during this time. We tried talking our landlords into letting us stay, negotiations fell through, we found another gem of an apartment with a HELLISH commute for me so I got cold feet and emailed our landlords again as a last ditch effort, and they counter-offered with a lower rent than what they originally offered. WHAT. So now we're still living at our beloved apartment and the cherry on top is that my best friend Cassandra also moved in! 

// 9-to-5, and Wednesdays in San Francisco: the nature of working at a startup is the most fascinating thing, you guys. The changes in responsibilities and my team and projects in 2017 alone could give me whiplash; it's like a crash course (on steroids) (in triple speed) on All The Things. My favorite switcheroo is that every Wednesday, SF-based people get to have a city work-day rather than braving the hour commute down to the peninsula. Working up here is radically different! My friends work within two metro stops of me on these days, so we meet early for chai, grab lunch on the go, enjoy happy hours with coworkers, admire the few skyscrapers, and walk home alongside the Bay Bridge. A whole new world!

// turning twenty-FOUR! All I have to say to this is the other day I went about the day thinking I'm 19, and then laughed out loud realizing I'm 22, and then felt really dumb. Haven't actually grasped the fact that I'm now in my MID-twenties. There are times I feel like an old hand at this "life" thing, like when I did my taxes before my older, more responsible sister (only because it was the last day I could get TurboTax for free) and when I scheduled an optometrist appointment (only because I was down to my last pair of contacts and I'm literally considered to be legally blind without them). Then, there are days I still feel like a newbie (see: everything in parentheses).  

// this, that, and the other: like I mentioned, this post has been an ongoing list of updates that I'll revisit every now and then; you can tell just how much I've neglected this place by how laughably out-of-date some of the bullet points have become, such as the time I twisted my ankle MONTHS ago and then walked a mile home on it because we had too much sangria, and how I chopped all my hair off at last (I'm probably already due for another cut at this point HA). More recently, there was Bay to Breakers, my sister's Oakland baby shower, spending Easter weekend in Napa, that time we went to Hamilton and about died from joy, oyster happy hours whenever possible, and idk plenty more in between maybe that's why I should've been BLOGGING this whole time.

// still obsessed with The West Wing, that's all. But am also incredibly behind on all of my TV shows, which just... what happened!!!! Who have I become. Who am I when I'm not binging on TV and not blogging and documenting every last crumb I eat.

// on the docket: summer in SF and all of the goodness that comes with it, NYC to visit my bestie Lauren for the Fourth of July, baby baby baby in August, and also perhaps I should think about finishing my Europe recaps because this is just getting ridiculous.
xoxo,
the girl who kinda dropped the ball on ballawging and who really misses it and hopes to be back here sooner rather than later.

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Working From London

Hello, hello!

How does this thing even work – could someone remind me, please? KIDDING. (Well, not really, but whatever, let's hop to it anyway.) The most difficult part for me right now in writing a blog post is figuring out where to start. There's so much to tell you! I even started a list of "life updates" that's like fifteen bullet points long to repeat to you, to my best friends when they call, to my boss, to my own mother...

I haven't seen much of any of the major players in my life lately, you see. Anyway. We'll get to that next time, when I make more of a dent in that list I mentioned. For now, I'll begin with my most recent adventure: working from my company's London office for two weeks! 

The business trip was truly a whirlwind, from my manager one day saying "hey, think you could go across the pond next Friday" to getting on a flight dying of the plague to hitting the ground running working with our Europe team. Crazy busy as it was though, it was also deliciously novel, and I soaked up the feeling of living this more glamorous, more worldly alter-ego while I was abroad. An alter-ego who woke up extra early in a Pinterest-come-to-life-room to make a frothy latte every morning, who stopped for a coffee or a breakfast treat at any number of hip cafes in trendy Shoreditch, who sped-walked to work amongst a crowd of dapper gents and prim girls looking so polished in black tights and shiny black flats. 
Two weeks of using charming British-speak like takeaway and quid and appreciating the magical Underground; a hearty mix of ethnic food from a lunch market across the street from the co-working space; leaving at dusk to grab takeout, admiring the thoughtful East London street art along the way; more baths than I've ever taken, accompanied by a glass of wine and Netflix from the iPad. Then, all over again. 
I think the magic, the romanticism of this two-week montage, stems from experiencing an international ordinary. There were no travel guides or sightseeing; rather, a fleeting glimpse of what life could look like had I made a different choice, chose a different goal somewhere along the way.
See, now that I've started a post, I can't stop. I'll be back with the rest of those life updates soon-ish. (Probably.)

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Mid-Week Trip to Sunny Los Angeles

Between trick-or-treating with four very rambunctious children on Halloween and traveling to Los Angeles mid-week for a handful of customer meetings, I can honestly exclaim "TGI-frickin-F" with extra pizazz today. What else did I expect from a week that started out with a sugar coma?

Gosh, sugar comas are the products of such wicked fun though, aren't they? Leah and I, or actually Bruce and Darla, rounded up four very adorable French kid-friends of ours donning Nemo gear and robbed Palo Alto of all the Twix bars it had to offer. 

Then barely two sleeps after those shenanigans, I was off to LA with a couple of coworkers. We visited our own Los Angeles HQ (see above! how friggin Pinterest is that!), battled a lot of traffic, hit up a few of our customers, perspired through our SF-friendly sweaters, and obviously, delighted our inner gluttons... which, come to think of it, is usually the general theme whenever I'm in LA. OK, scratch that. It's the general theme of my whole life.

This time around, standouts included Gjusta in Venice and Bondi Harvest in Santa Monica. Everything was phenomenal at Gjusta, although my personal favorites were the smoked brisket banh mi sandwich and roasted yams. 

And at Bondi Harvest, a little slice of Australia in LA, I had a total "are you kidding me" moment with the sweet winter squash pancakes. Just... just trust me on this one. 

Other highlights of the week: my favorite person's birthday (that'd be the sis) and her one year wedding anniversary so you bet your bottom dollar I re-watched her wedding video and bawled like a baby. Coworkers slash friends who I get to work-travel with... I mean, let's just say we're all birds of a feather when it came to deciding essentials to grab for our Airbnb at 7-11: coffee, ice cream, and wine. Aaaaaand final highlight: I'll be staying comatose on the couch getting thoroughly stuck in West Wing, my new obsession, for the forseeable future. Don't even try convincing me otherwise.

And what about you, my friend? Did you have a good week? I hope so, since next week, everything might be going to shit. Make it an amazing weekend to overcompensate! 

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Nostalgic AF

As of late, I've been nostalgic AF.

Much of it has to do with the fact that a year ago last week, I was handed what some people call a "diploma" and what I think of as an eviction notice. For the past month, I've been marking off "this time last year" anniversaries...

The two weeks we fondly refer to as "the best two weeks of our lives," last hurrahs where throwing caution to the wind and having a grand time seemed like the only option. Exams, projects, final papers, last lectures full of sage advice from professors. Bidding farewell to a time in our lives that was at once formative and transformative. Sobbing at the New Girl season finale, wailing but everything is going to change!!! The stress of moving boxes into storage, stuffing the car until it was bursting at the seams, four years of our lives right there. Leaving for Europe before we could truly process what was happening. We existed in an exhilarating state of chaos where every moment seemed profound and every day, monumental. 

(For more Wacky Walk costume photos, check this out.)

Last weekend, I appeared at Stanford graduation once again, this time not as a graduate but as a friend and alumni. I listened to poignant speeches, watched as proud parents beamed, felt goosebumps as each graduate crossed the stage, remembered the nerves and anticipation and the bit of sadness, too. The last two weeks this year has been calm–albeit busy–days at work, spontaneous weekend getaways, making grocery lists and trip-planning while SVU plays in the background.

As I clapped for and celebrated my friends, I also felt myself emerging triumphant on the other side. See, the thing about post-grad life... is that, for me at least, it hasn't been so exciting in the same way college was. The stress doesn't spike right when midterms come around, the weekends and evenings aren't so raucous, the lessons not as hard-hitting, and the victories don't come with the cheers from a built-in audience of 60 housemates.

And yet, the days since we moved out once and for all have runneth over with workplace lessons, personal growth, routine, restlessness, spectacular weekending, epiphanies across the world, satisfaction at a meal unburnt, and constant self-questioning. 

There is no hoopla when you mark off the one-year anniversary of graduating, just a heckuva overdose of Nostalgia and quite a few existential questions. You don't get a diploma for surviving relatively unscathed, no accolade or certificate. 
But maybe we all deserve one. (And some champagne, too!)
*Photo credit of the second to last photo goes to Condeleezza Rice's security team. Sorry I took you away from constant vigilance to take ever-so-important friendship photos for us from multiple angles.

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The Daily Routine

At 6:00am every day when my alarm goes off for the first time, I cry inside and then blindly take my frustration out on my poor phone as I suffocate the noise by stuffing it under my pillowcase (too much effort to open my eyes and you know... turn it off) or hitting it repeatedly against my mattress.

It sucks, because I don't even get up for another hour. It's just that I like to torture myself by making irrational decisions every night such as, oh of course I can wake up at 6, make some coffee, answer some emails, clean my room, and save the world. Every night I fool myself. Every morning I hate myself.

I mentioned the other day that I recently started a new gig, which is fine and dandy (VERY fine and dandy in fact because my overpriced coffee addiction is not funding itself, and also because I'm minorly obsessed with everything about my company) – mental note that I need to share more with you in due time – but the ONE thing I don't think I can ever make peace with is that Monday through Friday, my days look almost exactly the same.

I miss college where one day we could drive to the next town for boba, and the following day we could nap two hours after waking up and then spend the afternoon hammocking or doing something equally as productive. Spontaneity! No planning ahead! Footloose and fancy free!

So yes, my days go something like this more often than not now:
Cry to self. Too early. Drag self out of bed. Shower. Make self look not-so-scary. Read some blogs, maybe make a cup of coffee, fry an egg if I'm feeling particularly crazy. Leave apartment. Buy coffee on the way to train. Train [Instagram, e-book, mental movie montage, etc.] for way too long. Work work work. Lunch. Treat self to coffee.* Work work work. Train home. Putter around the kitchen until 1) I eat a weird dinner of three meatballs or corn and black beans or like, IDK, pasta and pesto, 2) I think 'wow I was so ambitious this is such a joke' and go order Mexican food instead, or 3) a roommate takes pity and makes extra food for me. Hog the TV for a couple of hours. Fall asleep reading Tumblr.**
*Ah, now you understand when I say addiction, I meant it's getting out of hand. **If I had to choose a social media network as a spirit animal – website?? – it would be Tumblr. Dorky, TV-loving, hilarious, concerningly obsessed with shipping certain TV couples, a little loony but ultimately know-what-they-love, homebody types. 
What's your spirit social media network? If you say Instagram or Pinterest, teach me your ways please.

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Facts From Corporate America

As of yesterday, I've officially reached the halfway point of my internship. I could tell you all about what I've learned in data analysis, brand positioning, and consumer insights (actually, I couldn't. I'm contractually obligated to keep some secrets), but let's talk about some of the more ... practical ... things I've learned about Corporate America.

I should say, though, that the disclaimer is - if you have a job that you love in an industry that you're passionate about, even spreadsheets of numbers on numbers on numbers and color-coordinated deck presentations can be exciting to the core. (Which I do have.)

With that said ...

// Office bathrooms = the most awkward non-scenarios. Do you wait for the other person to leave, or should you make a break for it, flush, wash hands, and book it out of there fast? Uh oh. I know those shoes. I don't want to be peeing next to the person wearing those shoes.

// Building a work wardrobe is the only time shopping has ever been boring.

// Every cubicle is inconveniently placed. Every cubicle. The big bosses get the breathtaking Central Park views, and they also get to glance at their employees' computer screens from a distance.

// Therefore, Pinterest browsing must be cursory and yet purposeful. Of course this is research for a project. Don't you see how intently I'm looking at this one Pin? And how I'm looking back and forth between it and my open spreadsheet?

// Gchat with your best friends is as much as a life saver as a life boat in the open sea. Pretty sure I'm saving these chats to read when I'm eighty eight and bored in my rocking chair. Remember when I had the audacity to write in all caps.

// The Harry Potter soundtrack in full is 8 hours long. A whole work day's worth of being the hero and saving the world from evil bad entertainment, in my case. (Thanks, Lo)

// Office fridge politics. So, this isn't all that relevant to me because I'm too lazy to even need a fridge for my food, but I know it happens and you know it happens.

// Whatever your job description really is, it's actually glorified Googling.

// Linkedin. 

// Breakfast on the go, lunches at the desk, dinners a la Chez Lean Cuisine or Chez Chipotle, whichever is less work on said day.

// Outlook's to me what Anne Hathaway was to Miranda Priestley, except I still have to fetch my own coffee.

// You better like your cubicle buddies (cubi-leagues?) (cubbie buddies?) because you literally are with them your whole life now. It's like elementary school, but without recess, Disney movies, or adult supervision to scare you into getting along with each other.

// Half your shoe closet is under your work desk. The nice part of your shoe closet, anyway.

// Any happy hour or nighttime carousing is put to an end obediently by your common sense telling you that you know sitting under fluorescent lights for eight hours staring at Outlook will suck if you keep going. 7am Marimba wake up alarms don't take any excuses.

// Research (is Google), Powerpoint presentations (basically, scrapbooking), and Excel (OCD organization) = the premise of everything and anything.

// You hit a wall at approximately 3:00pm. Coffee break, it is.

// You finally understand the true meaning of 'TGIF.' I mean, yes, you say it in school and whatnot, but that's simply child's play.

TGIT, guys and gals!

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That 9-to-5 Grind

weekend treats // new sunglasses, work clothes, and literal treats, too.
One week later, well, I've survived!
First off, thank you for all the first day of work wishes last week. You guys are always so good to me.
For obvious reasons, there's not too much I can share specifically about the new gig. But I can say that my office is in 30 Rockefeller. Think Liz Lemon, but on the corporate side. And, like, a million rungs down that ladder. Plus a couple more. Plus a really good coffee machine. It's just as awesome as it sounds.
This internship is my first taste of a 9-to-5 job. The verdict? I miss not blowing all my money on work clothes (read: no sweatpants what), although it's the best and most dangerous thing in the world to have a J.Crew, Anthropologie, Banana Republic, AND A BEN & JERRY'S in the basement of your office. Can I just say that my routine post-work, pre-subway peek at the summer sales has been absolutely detrimental to my bank account? I miss having energy in the evening, instead of surrendering to shuteye and a couple of episodes of Orange Is The New Black. I miss naptime. I miss two classes being my only obligations most days. I miss unblistered, Rainbows-clad feet. I miss not having to turn myself into a canned sardine during rush hour subway traffic. 
But you know what.
Other than that, it's not too terrible at all. As far as jobs internships go, mine's really rad. It's exciting. It's full of energy. It's challenging, but in that motivating, inspired way. It's teaching me all kinds of things I didn't know before. It's allowing me to apply all the theories and lessons I've been lectured on and that I've written pages and pages about, in a real world capacity. That's pretty awesome. 
So, yes, the first day and the first week has been swell. But I do miss naptime. 

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Go, Go, Go

(please, disregard the split ends. really.)

Yesterday was go, go, go,

from the second I dragged myself out of bed at 5:45am.

No, really, I rolled to the side of my bed,

stuck a foot out, and then slowly just let

gravity take its course - it pulled me down little by little,

and I tried to resist, I did, but I'm no real competitor before the sun's up-

and so I sadly admitted defeat.

After I finished up some computer science coding,

I got dressed in not-enough-clothing

(I'm sorry I forget that 6am = cold),

and treated myself to hot cocoa and chocolate cinnamon bread from the 'bucks.

And then I spent the rest of the morning being a (pretend) grown up

at a social media conference that the magazine I work at hosted.

I heard some valuable words of advice and insight

from leaders of the industry, including those from

Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Twitter.

Side note: those in the social media industry

are so young and so well dressed.

It was a walking, breathing J.Crew/Madewell/Anthropologie/Urban Outfitters catalog.

I may or may not have spent the first two hours taking

sneaky pics of heels and purses and turbans and jewel-tone skirts,

and texting them to all my friends w/:

WHY DON'T I HAVE THIS. WHY.

They stopped replying after the eighteenth picture w/ the same message.

That's enough blabbering for the day.

Cheers!

(Go, go, go time ended in the afternoon

when I took the most luxurious three-hour nap,

and then proceeded to watch all of the TV episodes

I had missed this week. The Life. #THELIFE.)

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