5 Reasons Why I'm The Worst Blogger Ever (After 5 Years of Blogging!)

O N E .

Saturday marked five years of blogging for me, but did I notice? Nope. I was holed away in a cabin in Tahoe, happily indulging in hot cocoa with extra Bailey's. I woke up on Sunday feeling properly ashamed of missing my honey's special day and dawdled about wondering what to do in a situation like this. Do I send flowers? Purchase "I'm sorry" jewelry?

T W O.

Not only did I forget my very own blogiversary, heck, I couldn't even remember the last time I published a blog post. Or watched a Snapchat video, or shared a photo on Instagram. And, saddest OF ALL, my camera roll has been been devoid of thirty-pictures-of-a-steaming-cup-of-latte for a very long time.

I don't know how to explain it. The end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017 has been a weird time for me when it comes to documenting my life – I simply haven't felt the urge to whip out my phone to snap pics of wonderful meals, or to start a new blog post about well, really anything. I attribute this to several things: a seriously busy work month (in fact, before leaving for Tahoe, we were reading up on avalanches and I was like: oh this is literally describing my day-to-day at work), mental and physical clutter, and obviously deep frustrations and a general sense of helplessness towards the things going on in the nation and world that are so much bigger than me and my bubble. I'm all at once poring over articles, in a desperate attempt to educate myself, as well as internally screaming I can't take this anymore, these headlines need to STOP.

T H R E E .

"Blogging" as it exists in my mind is still as it was five years ago. To me, we're still living in a world of bubble necklaces (remember those??) and chevron everything and Google Reader. Lol, jk. RIP Google Reader. 

But, no. At some point, the blogging train sped ahead with personal branding and webinars and Facebook groups and hired photographers and network marketing and distributed revenue streams, and I just totally missed that train because I was probably hitting up a McDonald's at the station and forgot to check the departure time or something. 

Call me not-so-entrepreneurial, but I kinda like it here in this empty station with long, winding, not-always-so-helpful blog posts and slightly blurry but precious photographs. 

F O U R . 

I still haven't finished the new Gilmore Girls. The first episode didn't hook me–on the contrary, parts of it had me straight up grimacing. 

I still haven't watched La La Land, mostly because I've been a stubborn dingbat about wanting to watch it only at this one theater in town that serves food and drinks and they've been sold out for weeks and okay, okay, I'll go, I'll go. Soon.

I'm much too lazy to haul out the DSLR every time I leave the house and also I'm too cheap to get the iPhone 7, sooooo the few snapshots I have on my phone kinda suck right now.

I still need to finish posting about our Balkans trip from September and also if I'm feeling CRAY, I might just type up a little something from China. From over A YEAR AGO.

I can't ever remember my Pinterest password.

So now, let's decide. Are all of the aforementioned offenses considered blogging misdemeanors, or am I already treading in blog-felony territory?

F I V E .
And yet, after all this, I still can't quit this gig.
I don't think I ever could.
Perpetually Caroline has just... it's just become a part of my identity, over these last five years. It's a home in which my memories, adventures, thoughts, dreams, hopes, and heartaches have lived. It's stood as an unfaltering witness of a freshman year Caroline, on the precipice of a most tumultuous year, evolving slowly but surely into a 23-year-old with a whole host of stories to share from her travels around the world, who lives in the greatest city on Earth, who works at an exciting startup, who feels quite uncertain about the world around her right now but who has so, so, SO many people and places and beliefs that inspire her and spark the fight within her.
So sorry guys, but you're stuck with me even though I may be the worst blogger in the history of ever. If only because I want this blog (and you! all of you!) to stand witness as I evolve into whoever I become five years from now.
Now. Where do I go find a vintage bubble necklace to send to my blog as an apology gift?