I appear before you this morning not as an Oscar winner, and I'm just as shocked as you are, believe me! A snub, que horror! But what would you even win for, I can hear you say.
Well, hmm. Correctly guessing the bad guy in every cop show, for one thing. Who cares if sometimes it's right before they decide to reveal him and roll the ending credits? Or that my secret trick really is to consider literally every person who has even a second of screen time in the episode? This is my talent! I'd also win Most Likely to Cry at the Sight of a Puppy... that is an Oscar category, yes?
No?! What do you mean Oscars are awards for the movie industry? Here I thought it was merely an excuse for anyone to get dolled up and win whatever the heck award they think appropriate. Oh well. Their loss, not mine.
So I didn't win an Oscar and it turns out I was never and will never be close. But instead, I...
// dipped my feet in the foamy ocean on a day that was blue and warm and light. I don't know how to describe it, but it felt like living in a cloud. The waves crashed raucously and drenched us hip to toe, but it was paradise walking along Ocean Beach, laughing at dogs playing fetch, and then detouring for boba afterwards.
// was woken up at 5am this morning by a homeless man screaming at the top of his lungs for thirty minutes straight. Such is the joy of city life!
// escaped "unpack to only pack" mode for the first time (okay now I'm just bragging / being annoying, but I haven't had a chance to simply lie down for like two months)... and savored having the apartment to myself for a few hours. I binged four episodes of Castle [so now you see where the previous babble was coming from], painted my nails, ruined said nails by digging for the fattest Cheetos in the bag, and moved not even a millimeter from the couch.
// ate leftover dimsum, using my diploma as a placemat. I KNOW. STOP, OKAY?!
// dented my life savings quite a bit, thanks to my absolute dependency on Lyft.
// satiated my cafe-loving heart. This one's thanks to a lovely coworker who I spent yesterday hangin' with, and who took me to Workshop Cafe in SF, the coolest shared working space cafe (you text them with drink orders and they bring it to your seat!) with to-die-for honey almond lattes.
// overordered at Hong Kong Lounge, my favorite dimsum spot in the city. Also, I waited over an hour to overorder at HK Lounge. By "overorder" I mean I think we have enough leftovers to last us till DiCaprio finally wins an Oscar. ...oh wait.
// karaoke'd in a mostly funky, slightly seedy 49ers themed room. And I begged out of the "clubbing to follow" part of the plans and instead championed for hot, sizzling pizza in the middle of the sketchy Tenderloin and then an early bedtime.