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Sometimes I Can Adult, Sometimes I Can't

Last week, I had a professor ask our class of mostly seniors, "how many of you here feel like imposters when people tell you that you're an adult?"

Every hand shot up without hesitation – including those of our thirty-year-old TAs.

If it hadn't been weird, I would've raised both hands, and probably both my feet too, that's how strongly I felt about it. You know, I definitely don't feel like a teenager anymore. In fact, several weeks ago, I overheard some tweens in a tour group observing our oh-so-fashionable yoga-pant-chic campus and whispering, "I'd never wear sweatpants in public."

Yeah well. Buddy, one day you'll learn.
This weekend, I caught myself somewhat surviving as a functioning member of society. I paid my credit card bill on time (although not without a good wince, and I definitely closed my eyes when pressing the 'pay' button so fingers crossed it even went through at all). Amazon / Ontrac screwed up an important delivery, and I found myself on the phone listening patiently to cheesy hold music and asking all the right questions. I was nibbling on waffle fries at food truck parks and sipping Irish Coffees and sangria and handing over my ID like nobody's business, so legally, that's gotta mean something. I've been having this really sucky sore throat, and I was mature about it – nursing green tea after green tea aaaaaaaaand 

well, hold up. I also popped marshmallow after marshmallow because wikiHow told me it'd help. I ate honey straight from the honey packet. I self-medicated with ice cream, and called my mom whining about the pain. Not so adult, after all. Suddenly motivated to do a Tone It Up video, I realized with half dismay that hello, I don't have free weights because what are those, and so I ended up "training for bikini arms!!!!" by substituting weights with um... wine bottles. Whatever works, right? My dad picked me up to treat me to birthday noodles, and I handed him an emergency flashlight that we keep "in case there's an earthquake" and said, "LOOK AT MY THROAT PLS HELP ME DADDY I'M DYING." *Dramatic sob.*
Apparently there's this San Francisco Easter tradition – long story short, hammered folks tricycle down the windiest of steep streets, and hope not to break a bone. As I saw grown men and women dressed up as Star Wars characters and Elsa or something other than actual dignity, crashing into haystacks and stumbling over broken wheels and shouting "weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" all the way down, I felt some kind of weird sense of connection, some form of - you know what? Maybe we aren't ever meant to be 100% adult. Perhaps we're meant to always retain a sense of "can't adult" in us so we aren't driven insane by this world we live in. Perhaps.

And then I went to microwave frozen taquitos for dinner. Adulting like a pro.

16 comments

  1. I hate to be a downer but it doesn't get any better. I still don't feel like I can adult most days. It's just one crazy half-accomplished day after another. One day perhaps I'll get my ish together but it's doubtful.

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    1. Half-accomplished is productive in my book!

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  2. I'm pretty sure I will forever be an adult imposter. Like sure I have a job, but taco bell and cheap champagne and netflix for the win.

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  3. I'm so with you on this. I want to be both. responsibly and irresponsible. can't I do both? Also, if I have a sore throat I act like a complete baby.

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  4. It's so true. I don't think we every really grow up. I want to live in Neverland! Who's with me?

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  5. So much truth. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at someone who has a career and wonder how we are he same age. They seem like an adult how come I don't? I have a job too! It's so crazy and the weirdest feeling. Will I ever get over it?

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  6. I'm pretty sure everyone is just pretending to adult. I don't think it's a real thing, the older ones just don't want you to blow their cover...

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  7. I truly love this post (and the moral of it). I feel like I am at such a weird age...society demands I act like an adult in so many respects yet there are so many ordinarily adult life tasks that feel nearly impossible. I don't think we are ever meant to be fully adults we just get better at faking it (;

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  8. Even though on the outside it looks like I am an adult, I don't feel like it on the inside. I don't think that we have truly grow up unless we want to, and I am at a point where I do not want to. Honestly, I think that I will always be young at heart and I love that.

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  9. I'm 27 and some days totally don't fit the idea of what I thought an adult was when I was a teenager. But then other days I find myself talking to my bank about my current mortgage rate and looking at mom cars.

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  10. I have my own child who gets sick and is fussy (he's only 9 months, so that's allowed), but when we're both sick, we both go crying to my mom (who thankfully lives 30 minutes away) who takes care of us while my husband is at work.

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  11. Totally would've raised my hands, too! Don't get me wrong, some days it's nice to walk to class feelin' all adult, having paid off my credit cards, rent, phone bill, etc., buy a bottle or two (or three) of wine (the drinking kind, not the weightlifting kind ;) lol) and just adulting like a pro. BUTTTT you are so right - I still call my parents when I need to complain, moan, ask for advice, or just be a 5-year old again. And I usually end up in a ball on my bed in pj's, clutching the phone. and THATS how adulting is done :) haha
    ~ Samantha

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    1. Sometimes I just NEED to be a big baby!

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  12. Im 29 and Im pretty sure my brain thinks she's 18 haha sometimes we can adult and sometimes we can't!

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your comments truly make my day! :)
thank you!

xx Caroline