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Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

Love Letters

Well! The second half of February has been quite the couple of weeks of firing on all cylinders over here. Had I shown up 'round these parts, my posts would not have been the least bit fun. They would've looked something along the lines of:

asdfj;ds

merp

halp

ksieijdmzzzzzzzz

someone buy me a DRINK please

I went to grab coffee with a coworker yesterday; he took one look at me and asked apprehensively, "... are you okay? You've been looking a bit... frazzled."

Duly noted. But there's really one thought that stuck with me through the month, and wait for it because this is going to be cheesy AF - but it's pure gratitude. Every blah feeling was accompanied by twice as many things eliciting pure joy. I don't mean to discount negative emotions, but you guys. I was sitting on my couch with mac and cheese and an SVU episode, really leaning into the bad day blues, and there was this one persistent thought in my head: I can't remember the last time I had a really bad day. And if that doesn't bring the point home, then I don't know what will. So, a few love letters to those keeping me afloat. 
Dear out-of-towner best friends who always bring such light into my life,
is it time for a return visit yet? I need more coffee and pasta dates and quality catch up sessions as well as late-night antics (with one, it was a ghost wreaking havoc in our apartment; with the other, it was difficult yoga lessons that came close to injuring more than one roommate.) and reminiscing about years gone by. 

Dear conversations about love languages and social / cultural psychology,
GAH this stuff gets me goin'. I guess it's a good thing that I have a degree in it?

Dear Valentine's,
You've got nothing on my Galentine's. I came home from a work drinks to candles lit, 50 Shades on the screen, freshly grilled steaks, Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie, plenty of antacids, and two of my very best friends. Who could ever love me as much as they do?!
Dear MoviePass,
BLESS. YOUR. EXISTENCE. Granted, we haven't been using it for Oscars research and instead have leveraged it to watch The Greatest Showman twice (and Game Night once) but I feel like it's really revitalized the practice of going to the movies and "watercooler talk" is once again heavily based around the movies everyone has seen, which has been fun! 

Dear The Greatest Showman,
you really are the greatest show, man. The music, the cast, the cinematography, just... everything. I'm trying to find people to go with me for a third time, that's how amazing I thought it was!

Dear local lasagneria,
so first of all, thank you for being in our neighborhood. Although we can never seem to catch you when you're open, the times we do make it are all the more special. You've made work-from-home days so incredibly lovely with a sneaky glass of wine, your delicious, fresh burrata and charming Italian mom-and-pop vibes.
Dear coworkers,
The running theme of 2018 has been how amazing you guys are, and getting to know you outside of the office - whether it's all of us together at dinner post-company kickoff, or meeting up with former colleagues at a bar, or dishing at a cafe, or out and about on walk-and-talks. Two thoughts here: 1) I don't know if it's a tech world thing, but I find that in this day and age, coworkers really are closer than ever before. 2) Considering that these are the people I see more than my own friends and family, I'm so grateful for how supportive, hilarious, and smart you all are! 

Dear Girl Scout cookies,
ugh, yes.

Dear wineries with a view,
you beaut. I can't wait until summer days when we can spend warmer evenings with ya, but even despite the bone-chilling winds, you're a pretty stellar hangout spot now.
Dear FaceTime,
thank you for letting me play virtual babysitter to my nephew whenever my mom needs to do the dishes or fold laundry. I've developed a real talent of making all sorts of sounds to keep him entertained, a truly under-appreciated lifeskill! 

Dear SVU,
Give me back my Barba!!

Dear spontaneous adventures,
you give me life. How a hunt for yellow flower fields resulted in eating too many donuts at Dunkin, a wayward drive along the Pacific Coast Highway, a secret beach on the Ritz Carlton property, and then purchasing fresh seafood, I'll never know, but thank goodness for all the stories you help to create.

Dear March,
you be a little kinder to us all, eh?

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Celebrating 6 Years of Blogging

Uh oh.

Looks like I haven't changed, not even an iota. If anything, I've gotten worse.

The deja vu while reading that post was out of control. Not only did I forget my blogging anniversary once again (missed it by a day last year, missed it by a whole week this year... for shame), but also I'm headed up to Tahoe again this weekend. That made me chuckle.

Exactly a week ago, my blog turned 6 years old! I have a full-fledged grade-schooler on my hands! To celebrate six years, I thought I'd play a little game: six "six things" lists, and I'm going to say SIX one more time because I'm superstitious like that and didn't want 3 six's in this sentence... you still here, friends?

Grab a cup of coffee, and let's go.

Six Things I've Committed To For More Than Six Years

1 // ...
2 // ...
3 // ... working out?
4 // ...
5 // (a hard no to the above)
6 // ...

... so yes, even if last year was hardly a real "blogging year," this is still a huge deal to me. I've stuck with this space - or more accurately, this space has stayed with me - longer than I was in college, longer than I've been in the working world. It's outlived any other hobby, as well as a couple of friendships here and there sadly. It's been here before I could really call myself a traveler or a resident of San Francisco or discovered a true love of lattes and red wine, all key to my identity today. It's wild to me!

Six Destinations On My Bucket List

1 // the Istria region of Croatia, which borders Italy and is food-and-wine-central. Yes please.
2 // even more of Eastern Europe: Hungary, Czech Republic, Romania, Bulgaria, among others.
3 // Democratic Republic of Georgia - can you even?!
4 // Japan, so that I can eat my way through it.
5 // Portugal, for pasteis de nata and also because Lisbon is a sister city to San Francisco.
6 // Guilin, China - I've been dying to visit since I was a little girl!

The extended version is 60 if not 600 places too many to list, but for now these are on top. There are also so many places around the world that I want to re-visit / explore further, like Scotland and Spain!

Six Favorite Experiences Documented On This Blog


1 // My four incredible years at Stanford University, from once-in-a-lifetime opportunities like studying abroad for a quarter at Oxford University, to our very wacky graduation, to the extraordinarily ordinary moments vividly captured in the hallways of my freshman dorm. Having a home for these memories to live is priceless to me.

2 // In that same timeframe, I interned at NBCUniversal and lived in New York City for a summer, and it was one of the "omfg is this real life" experiences. (Relevant posts here, here, and here.)

3 // I mentioned this, but my love for travel (and the Balkans!) blossomed after the birth of this blog, which is fortunate because diaries from many of those trips are found here. I'm not even going to list favorites because that'd take forever, but you can read all travel-related posts here.

4 // Life in San Francisco: this is an magical city, and I'm so thankful to call it home. Writing about this city, its quirks, its restaurants and neighborhoods really pushes me to keep exploring too!

5 // Goes with the above, but blogging about my 20's as I'm living it has been so, so special. First jobs, moving to the city, learning to cook - for real, the first thing I ever cooked was proudly exhibited here - my first apartment... it's alllllll in these archives.

6 // Welcoming my baby nephew: this is one I haven't talked about in too much detail here to respect his privacy, but from the moment we heard about his imminent arrival Christmas of 2016, to feeling him kick in Maui, to meeting him in August and even snuggling with him this weekend - he is all the joy. Here is a little video I made when he was still a tiny little thing, if you're interested!

Six Things About My Life Right Here, Right Now 


1 // I live in a five bedroom apartment in a super hipster and SUNNY neighborhood of San Francisco. It was 80 degrees here this weekend, can you believe that?

2 // I'm the furthest thing from hipster. The furthest.

3 // In fact, I'm really more like a 75-year-old grandma who wants to feed you shortbread and coffee  and tell you stories about the days of my youth more than anything. Youth = the 1x a year I go dancing or stay up past 10pm.

4 // I live with two of my best friends... best idea ever or worst idea ever? 

5 // I work at a tech startup - it's a software company that powers social video so if you have any questions about all those Tasty videos on Facebook or the cute puppy videos you see on Instagram or if you're wondering if 'startup perks' really are a thing, hit me up!

6 // I rarely wear color. Neutrals - gray, especially - are my jam. I went to the Color Factory and just about had a conniption, and so I put myself in time-out in the black-and-white room. (Funny enough, I'm wearing hot pink right now... I think it's the brightest thing I have in my closet, and it's the first time I've worn it in months.)

Also, I'm...



Six Things I've Finagled Out Of Blogging 


1 // A personal history book: see "favorite experiences" section above.

2 // Internet savvy, which has influenced my getting multiple jobs and internships.

3 // Several really neat small businesses and cool brands being on my radar as a consumer.

4 // Recommendations for things to do, eat, and see in cities all over the world!

5 // Friends! What a privilege it is to be familiar with so many of your stories! (PS. a huge congratulations to sweet Jordyn who got ENGAGED this weekend!!)

6 // Awesome material goodies through collaborations and giveaways; some of my most worn items are a direct result of the blogosphere. Favorites include: Matt Bernson booties, this Lo & Son travel tote, La Canadienne Chelsea boots, and my classic Tory Burch riding boots. With an exception of the riding boots, I've used all of the above within the last 24 hours... the boots were too little for my calves from Day 1 but they're just. SO. PRETTY. whenever I do feel like cutting off my circulation.

Six Questions I Have For You


1 // What social media platforms do you prefer? Are you an Instagram Stories person like myself, or a Pinterest gal perhaps?

2 // Is there anything I don't write about currently, that you think I should cover?

3 // Is there anything I write about that you're like - no more! (I won't be offended, I swear!)

4 // How do you decide what posts to read for any of the blogs you follow? Do you go through your whole Bloglovin feed (that's what I do!), are you reminded through social media perhaps?

5 // Who are some of your favorite bloggers?

6 // What's your blog or Instagram URL - I want to say hi!!

If you're still reading... bless you! And, thank you. Truly, truly.

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Here & Now | February 2, 2018

I ran off the train home to snap this photo; loving that we're finally getting some light after work now!


It's February! In case you didn't know!

Typically, I'm the one proclaiming time flies; but this go around, I felt that February 1st took its fine time to welcome us all. Last weekend was the first one in awhile that I went into without concrete plans, aaaand of course - I spent it sleeping in, eating way too much, and spending a little too much dinero at Aritzia. When will I learn to just not go in when I see the word SALE in big red letters? I'm a marketer's dream come true.

Eats & Drinks

I shared my experience dining alone at the grand opening of Ippudo, but also just want to reiterate: those pork buns gave me new life. That's all.
Ippudo's Akamaru Modern ramen - so blissfully slurpable

See & Do

We found ourselves down in Palo Alto for a very special brunch: getting to see our friend Kylie's sparkly new accessory for the very first time! In school, Kylie was two grades below us and we've always regarded her as a pseudo younger sibling. Our senior year of college, we spent more nights than not gossiping over at "the sophomores' suite" with cheap wine, so needless to say, it feels surreal that she's going to be MARRIED before the end of the year.

MASSIVE portions to celebrate an engagement!

Read & Watch & Listen

Slow work week advantages: seeing a movie on a Monday night! We went to Molly's Game, which I thought was good but not great (going into it, I had high expectations because well... Aaron Sorkin, and also that stellar cast). To be honest, I thought that there were a few too many storylines, which resulted in an ending that felt forced and rushed. I just read this VICE interview with the real Molly Bloom, and there were several points in it that the movie glossed over, but IMHO would've made for a stronger story if further explored in place of plot-points that were more central to the movie.

Two other fun / interesting posts and articles I read this week:

This cool Harry Potter hole-in-the-wall spot in London. I'll confess to popping over to Google Flights immediately after reading!

A writer's foray into making Peking duck, with plenty of observations and asides on the rise of regional Chinese cuisine. I grew up eating a lot of the foods mentioned in the article, and am now curious to learn more about their backstories.
flying next to the moon on an early flight to Seattle

Weekend Forecast

I'm in Seattle this weekend, logging in quality time with my whole family but mostly with my adorable little five-month-old nephew. He's growing up SO fast and has so much personality right now, I'm head-over-heels. 

Catch you on the flip side!

How's your weekend going? Are there any movies that you'd recommend?
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Table For One

There comes a day in every twenty-something lady's life when she has to throw caution to the wind, pretend that her social anxiety isn't an issue, and confidently tell the hostess "table for one."

For me, that day was January 28, 2018.

... What am I even saying? There never has to be that day if you don't want there to be. I never wanted that day, but a craving for ramen has a mind of its own. It was the grand opening of Ippudo Ramen in San Francisco, I had only eaten a bite of a cupcake all day, my friends were "too full," and just like that - I found myself confidently whispering to the hostess: "table for one."

To be honest, it was all a bit anticlimactic from then on out. Not the ramen - the ramen was glorious and the pork buns even more so, but it turns out I didn't discover the Wonder Woman within myself or meet my soul mate or realize that dining alone is a newfound hobby.

Instead, the whole experience was - pleasant. Peaceful. I zoned out for 80% of the time: I didn't people watch, didn't hang on to my phone for dear life (well okay, I did a little), didn't read a book. I literally just zoned out, slowly enjoyed my noodles, and then walked out a (Akamaru) Modern woman. <-- that's an Ippudo pun, you guys.
Like I said, anticlimactic.

But I started this blog to document interesting and notable experiences, and if the "dining alone for the first time" shoe fits, then suffer through my ramblings you must, dear readers! 

Perhaps next week I'll go watch a movie by myself. Or take a drawing class, or hike the PCT. And perhaps those adventures will bear more fruit on the self-realization front, but also perhaps you'll be getting another blog post that's like "well I tried that and it was cool, but also my life has not been changed."

Am I making any sense? I don't think so, but let's just pretend we're mind-melding and you kind of get it. To new experiences! However revelatory or not!
The takeaway here is that if my friends are ever "too full" (for shame) again and the craving hits, I'm still down to take myself out on a nice little dinner date.

What is something new that you've tried this year? Or, what's something new on your list that you want to try soon?

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Here & Now | January 26, 2018

No lie, I actually asked someone earlier today if it was Tuesday. This week has been nonstop, so a huge DANKE to concerning levels of caffeine (I've been averaging 5 cups a day for the last 3 days, I don't think my heart rate will be normal ever again). It's kickoff week for my company, and my colleagues from offices across 6 cities all congregated in San Francisco for industry chats, executive presentations, collaboration syncs, and of course - gin & tonics. A true work hard, play hard week: for context, it's been go-go-go from 7:30am to past midnight for three days now.

Eats & Drinks

Like I said: so many G&T's, and non-stop hors d'oeuvres and catered meals and team dinners. Truffle fries and I are going to need a bit of a break now or else I might very well turn into one... that's the delusion talking at this point, by the way. Other highlights: 


Naan n Curry's Chicken Tikka Masala roll for a quick take-out dinner scarfed down in front of the TV. Seriously, what could be better than Indian as a much needed de-stressor? 

Caramba breakfast burritos: I'm terrible about eating breakfast mostly because I run out of time in the morning, but it's my favorite meal. Recently, I've also made an effort to cut down on "useless" (aka Treat Yoself) spending, but I'll reward myself with a nice little morning goodie every now and then. This week, it was a breakfast burrito at Caramba which is right by my office and also dirt cheap so needless to say, the Treat Yoself spending will be ramping up a whoooole lot more. January Lifestyle, be gone!

Just For You beignets. A truly special moment this week was when we hit up our neighborhood family-owned breakfast diner. Not only were we able to take advantage of the perfectly sunny morning by claiming a prime table outside, but also the restaurant insisted on giving us an order of free beignets just because. These are the best beignets in the world and I'd pay like $20 for them, so again... such a generous treat! Love my neighborhood.  



See & Do


I spent Saturday at the Women’s March with a couple of my best girls, and what. a. time. to. be. ALIVE! The sheer energy, the unshakeable solidarity, the grit and passion and strength so incredibly palpable that the air was buzzing: wow. That's it. Just wow.

This kickoff! Broken record reporting to duty here, but I haven't been this exhausted in possibly ever but also it's been such a wonderful week getting to catch up with my brilliant, hilarious, FUN colleagues who I just can't get enough of. 

A second silver lining to the early wake-up calls has been all the gorgeous sunrises! I'd be such a great morning person if I could only untrain my arm to reach for the snooze button instinctively for like 12 alarms in a row. I mean, think of all the Instagrams!


Read & Watch & Listen


I had a funny “living in 2018” moment this week when Hulu was down for a hot second and ended up locking us out of the account... which just happens to belong to my ex roommate's best friend. Three years we've been able to sneakily watch episodes this way, but apparently... no more. This brings me right back to a night right after college graduation when I sat around with a circle of friends trying to determine who has access to what subscription services. I have my best friend's  mom's Netflix credentials, she used my sister's Hulu account and my Amazon Prime, I use my friend's dad's HBO Go and a friend's ex's friend's this, that, or the other. Such is the 2018 life, I guess!



Weekend Forecast

All this girl really wants is a spot of real sleep, but perhaps if I'm feeling ambitious we'll throw some brunch and hangin' out too. I'm also 100% certain my roommates have made weekend plans for me without my entirely knowing - my unread texts are at like 89 now, so this'll be a fun surprise!


Did you make it out to the Women's March? What was the highlight of your week?

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Exhale

Roll call!

Are all of my bright-eyed, bushy-tailed IT'S A FRESH START, LET'S GOOO-getters present?

...And what about the rest of you, are you all back in Ugh, The Real World yet - anyone else yell at their alarm clocks and forget to re-charge their commute cards and overall regress to their December 19th selves?

Because hi, the latter... that was 100% me, one day post-carboloading, lounging in sweats, watching Ghostbusters and eating cake on NYE bc it's a new year baby!! Also, I'd like to point out our festive "2018" cake decorations, held up nicely by "25" candles that are slightly janky from already being used not once, but twice before.

I'm not making any sense here, but give me a break: I've been absent for awhile and am quite rusty at this. I do hope to be here more often in 2018 though, and thought I'd make an appearance today just to get this show back on the bumpy, bumpy road.
The tail end of 2017 felt so much like constantly playing catch up that I don’t think I ever fully grasped the idea that 2018 was imminent until it was, you know, here. But yesterday, as I was lounging in my best friend’s parents’ home, helping myself to freshly grated gouda and bubbly red champagne, I felt the thrill of a new start for the first time in a long time. I found myself finally getting excited for all that this year may be bring, rather than remaining in my default state of slight anxiety and general cynicism. So. Hopefully that’s the sign of a good year ahead of us!

Or, it could’ve just been that I had a sip too much of bubbly. Who’s to say.

On a blogging front, my resolutions as we settle into this new year is to:

  • Just start writing and documenting again.
  • Be on low-pressure mode as I figure out what it is exactly I (and you) want this space to be.
  • Refresh the fixins a tad. Nothing major but my Bloglovin description still says that I'm a junior in college and uh, I wish, but sadly sadly sadly that is not the case anymore.
  • Perhaps finish recapping some trips, as those are the memories I predict 80 year old me would most like to hate-read.

Okay, that's it for now.

If you're still reading: HI, YOU ROCK. I've missed you. Could you drop a note & let me know what you're up to? If you're still blogging, gimme your linky link, because I need me some new reading material!

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Life Lately: 2017, Halfway Through

Hey hi hello, Caroline here reporting for my once-a-month-posting-duty. Also - apologies for that massive picture of my face up there, what a welcome back! Though I'm rarely actually here anymore, I've been keeping a running tab of life updates since the beginning of the year, full of happy things and momentous occasions to regale you with when we sit down for a proper chat... but as these things go, days disappeared into weeks into a full month into now, nearly 6 months since I've done just that with you.

I'm sorry, and I miss you. 

But! That aforementioned list! Sharing the bare bones version with you here because the longer I go without doing that, the more disconcerted I feel. What can I say, after five and a half years of sharing every detail of my life here, it feels weird to have an entire half-year undocumented.

So to stick a proverbial toe into the water, here's the Cliff Notes version for now, with perhaps novel versions to follow, should I get bitten by the ramble bug once more. (I say as if I'm not already rambling here.)

OK. HERE WE GO.
// I'm going to be an aunt for the first time!!! Well, aunt to a human, that is. My sister and brother-in-law surprised us with the most special Christmas morning via a fluffy little onesie. Baby BOY (I flew up to Seattle in April to third-wheel the gender reveal doctor's appointment as their birthday gift to me HA) will be here in a little less than three months, and we are all wild with anticipation. So ready to snuggle the little munchkin!
// Maui vibes in May: I spent the first week of May fifth-wheeling (sensing a pattern here...) our family vacay... it was my sister and BIL's babymoon and my parents' joint birthday celebration, but I was there to just lay comatose on the perfect beaches and squeeze into the middle-backseat on scenic drives and demand shaved ice whenever possible. Already scheming up how to retire early and peace out permanently to Maui because it is HEAVEN. 
// WFLondon in March: so this one, I covered a bit here. Basically, with one week's notice, I booked a flight and the cutest "aparthotel" studio and spent half of March in London for work. This is notable because 1) well, London, and 2) I don't think I've ever felt as much like a true, established grown-up as I did in those two weeks. I'm convinced that's 87% due to that hotel room straight out of Pinterest, 13% because of my insane work hours there, and 1% thanks to my nightly glass of wine whilst soaking in the bathtub.
// The Apartment Saga: that took over my entire life and brain and soul through the first four months of the year. Post-college, I stumbled upon the greatest SF apartment opportunity of all time and then never left. In January, a couple of my roommates (including the master tenant) wanted to move, which launched the rest of us into hyper-panic-apartment-hunting mode which... if you know anything about the SF rental market, you'll know is totally justified. Let me tell you – most dramatic text messages of my LIFE took place during this time. We tried talking our landlords into letting us stay, negotiations fell through, we found another gem of an apartment with a HELLISH commute for me so I got cold feet and emailed our landlords again as a last ditch effort, and they counter-offered with a lower rent than what they originally offered. WHAT. So now we're still living at our beloved apartment and the cherry on top is that my best friend Cassandra also moved in! 
// 9-to-5, and Wednesdays in San Francisco: the nature of working at a startup is the most fascinating thing, you guys. The changes in responsibilities and my team and projects in 2017 alone could give me whiplash; it's like a crash course (on steroids) (in triple speed) on All The Things. My favorite switcheroo is that every Wednesday, SF-based people get to have a city work-day rather than braving the hour commute down to the peninsula. Working up here is radically different! My friends work within two metro stops of me on these days, so we meet early for chai, grab lunch on the go, enjoy happy hours with coworkers, admire the few skyscrapers, and walk home alongside the Bay Bridge. A whole new world!
// turning twenty-FOUR! All I have to say to this is the other day I went about the day thinking I'm 19, and then laughed out loud realizing I'm 22, and then felt really dumb. Haven't actually grasped the fact that I'm now in my MID-twenties. There are times I feel like an old hand at this "life" thing, like when I did my taxes before my older, more responsible sister (only because it was the last day I could get TurboTax for free) and when I scheduled an optometrist appointment (only because I was down to my last pair of contacts and I'm literally considered to be legally blind without them). Then, there are days I still feel like a newbie (see: everything in parentheses).  
// this, that, and the other: like I mentioned, this post has been an ongoing list of updates that I'll revisit every now and then; you can tell just how much I've neglected this place by how laughably out-of-date some of the bullet points have become, such as the time I twisted my ankle MONTHS ago and then walked a mile home on it because we had too much sangria, and how I chopped all my hair off at last (I'm probably already due for another cut at this point HA). More recently, there was Bay to Breakers, my sister's Oakland baby shower, spending Easter weekend in Napa, that time we went to Hamilton and about died from joy, oyster happy hours whenever possible, and idk plenty more in between maybe that's why I should've been BLOGGING this whole time.
// still obsessed with The West Wing, that's all. But am also incredibly behind on all of my TV shows, which just... what happened!!!! Who have I become. Who am I when I'm not binging on TV and not blogging and documenting every last crumb I eat.
// on the docket: summer in SF and all of the goodness that comes with it, NYC to visit my bestie Lauren for the Fourth of July, baby baby baby in August, and also perhaps I should think about finishing my Europe recaps because this is just getting ridiculous.

xoxo,

the girl who kinda dropped the ball on ballawging and who really misses it and hopes to be back here sooner rather than later.
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Twenty Four.

I come before you today, exactly one week into being a TWENTY-FOUR year old, bearing all sorts of wisdom that I've gathered over the years such as, if you are to ever come into possession of a rainbow cake with sprinkles, dare not take a single bite until you've photographed it from every last angle. And then once that's been satisfactorily accomplished, stuff your face until your stomach hurts.

See, I'm great at this adulthood thing.

As you might have guessed from all the crickets you're hearing in this little corner of the Internet, I'm still going through a bit of a blogging/digital documentation rut, but it still felt super weird not to mark this milestone with any sort of a post (...narcissist, much?) and so I thought I'd pop in and just start typing and see where that gets me.
Thinking back, 23 was a year of settling in. More than anything, it was digging deep and losing the novelty, it was feeling not so much like the new girl in a post-grad world. There's not quite as much of that wide-eyed am I doing this right?!ness of it all; instead, I carry on in most aspects of my life very matter-of-factly, feeling like I've got a bit of a handle on things.

My twenty-third was quite the tumultuous year for the country and the world, and it had me questioning how I go forward as a citizen and as a human being. Not the loveliest circumstances, but it offered me the opportunity to take a step back and re-evaluate my own practices and values and ask myself: so what's next? What can I do for the country / world, and how can I do that? It's an important conversation for a 23-year-old to have with herself, I think.

So when I reflect upon 23, I think those are the two main themes: settling in, and constantly questioning all that I thought I knew. Hopefully, in my twenty-fourth year, these themes will evolve into seeking contentment but not complacency, and using this confusing political and social climate to continue educating myself and formulating my beliefs.
Most years, I'm counting down the days to my birthday–sending "things I love" lists VERY. SUBTLY. to anyone I can con into buying me a gift and planning a weekend getaway and what have you. This year, the 17th completely snuck up on me. Tapped me on the shoulder and was like, hi I'm here!

(Managed a weekend trip to Napa anyway, booking our transportation with less than 24 hours to go, how's that for last minute? Granted, I live an hour away, but whatEVS.)

But even without all of the build-up and all of the mental "23 things I loved / learned / did" list-making, I took a look around me on the night of my birthday and felt overwhelming joy at the life I get to live. Rarely is it the most exciting life and trust me when I say I have my own share of !problems!!! BUT on my birthday and throughout the week as the love and well wishes and SUGAR poured in, and as I considered the people that I hold dear, the places I've discovered and re-discovered, and the lessons I've learned and shared over the course of the past year, I knew that if I were to sit down and make a list of all the things going right and all the things going wrong in my life, the scales would be tipped so far towards the former that the whole dang thing would probably collapse.

So, gratitude. Overwhelming gratitude, and joy. That's where I'm at, one week into 24.

(That, and also $55 spent on artisanal ice cream last week. That's where I'm at, one week into 24.)

(I don't know why I felt compelled to share that. For shame!!! $55?!??!)

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